RISING BLUE MOON
No Manchester City triumph would be complete without the mandatory diversion of Noel Gallagher and it has been revealed that Sunday’s was no exception. The pogo was so wild in the hospitality section of the Etihad when Ilkay Gündogan scored the title-clinching goal, that the former Oasis star and professional Mancunian sent an accidental loaf in the face of Rúben Dias’ old man , leaving him with two minnows and a split lip that required multiple stitches. It was a painful blow, but Gallagher’s adjournment to the medical room at least spared him the even worse agony of having to watch his team’s collective heroic effort to keep the ball close to the corner flag during the final nine minutes of their remarkable comeback. -behind the victory.
While Noel’s scars will be physical, Liverpool players will have to endure mental scars, having missed a point despite barely taking a wrong foot all season. Managing to look even more desperate than the time Salt Bae asked him to pose for a selfie after the Big Cup final in which Sergio Ramos hit his shoulder, Mo Salah’s bad temper as he collected his half of the shared pair of golden boots was in stark contrast to that of ecstatic Manchester City players.
“We are legends,” said Pep Guardiola, after watching his team come perilously close to finishing the season with a reputation as legendary bottlers. “We will be remembered. This group of players is absolutely eternal at this club. What we have achieved, it is so difficult to achieve. [Lord Ferg] with Manchester United did it years ago – two or three times – now I realize again the magnitude of doing it. Now we are part of it.
Equally triumphant scenes unfolded at the Community Stadium in Brentford, where Mr and Mrs Raphina were spotted showing off their six-packs shortly after the Brazilian scored one of the goals that kept Leeds on par the skin of their teeth at the expense of Burnley, who lost at home to Newcastle. “It wasn’t easy to deal with and I was trying to think of ways to help the group tactically,” yelled Jesse Marsch, whose only tactical contributions seemed to be constant reminders through charades to his group that ‘they were only playing against 10 players…until that depleted number was further reduced to nine.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“It’s the owners’ first full season and the nature of the industry is that everything can’t go your own way. They’re disappointed but they’re here to lift the team and we’ll be ready for next week”- Wrexham boss Phil Parkinson reveals that Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney did their best to lift the team after flying away with top friends to see them beaten by Bromley in the FA Trophy final.
“There’s no doubt that The Fiver spent the weekend on the rollercoaster of the final day of the Premier League season, so it’s no surprise that they probably missed out on an extraordinary football revolution that was unfolding. in leafy Surrey where the Dorking Wanderers were promoted to the National League via the playoffs.Big Website noticed the team’s rise to prominence in 2019. Delayed by Covid, that rise has continued for a team that has started playing at a local park in 1999 and, 12 promotions later, reached the National League.One of the founding players, Marc White, is now manager and president and is best described as a “character”.Their progress this season were followed on the ‘Bunch of Amateurs’ YouTube channel in the fly-on-the-wall series Dorking discoveredbut be warned, some of the language might make even the Fivers blush” – Ian Castle.
‘A nod to the papers supporting Real Madrid for taking Kylian Mbappé to stay at PSG with all the good grace you’d expect from them, with ‘It takes a lot of class to play in Madrid‘ and ‘It’s his loss‘. Very strong vibes “I never imagined them anyway”…” – Noble Francis.
“Re: Calling The Fiver from the pub (Friday’s Fiver). Surely you’re still calling him? – Andrew Parker (and 1,056 others).
Get your ears around for the latest Football Weekly. And while we’re at it, Max, Barry and the pod crew are back on tour. Tickets for live shows in June and July are available here.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Crystal Palace boss Patrick Vieira will not face police charges for launching a pitch invader after no official complaint was made.
Kylian Mbappé insists the home call led him to refuse a move to Spain and stay with PSG. “Everyone knows I wanted to leave last year,” he honked. “I was convinced that it was the best decision at the time. The context is different now, on a sporting level and on a personal level. France is the country where I grew up, I have always lived here and leaving was not good… The sports project has also changed, it made me want to stay, I don’t think my story is over.
Erik ten Hag tasted the delights of some members of the press kit, closing in on them for the first time on Monday. “We’re playing at the Theater of Dreams,” he growled. “We want to entertain. In the end, the intention is to play fantastic football. If we can’t play fantastic football, we still have to win.
Liverpool have confirmed Fulham attacking midfielder Fábio Carvalho will join them on July 1, but are sweating Thiago Alcântara’s fitness for Saturday’s Big Cup final against Real Madrid.
Marseille midfielder Boubacar Kamara will become Aston Villa midfielder Boubacar Kamara when his contract expires soon.
Sunderland are back in the Championship, with a 2-0 playoff final win over Wycombe finally ending their stay in the third tier. “People love to stick the boot into a fallen giant,” manager Alex Neil said. “I am extremely satisfied to have managed to offer so many things to so many people for whom it really matters.”
And despite this A ridiculous goal from Felipe Gutiérrez, Universidad Católica still slipped to a 3-2 defeat against Campeonato Chileno rivals Audax Italiano.
WANT EVEN MORE?
My teacher said I would be more likely to be dead at 25 than a footballer. What if I had listened, writes Troy Deeney.
It’s Premier League end-of-season review day, so here’s… take a deep breath… players of the season, managers, goals, games, signings, flops, reprimands, youngsters players, experts and photos.
Jonathan Liew on Manchester City. Plus Jamie Jackson’s team ratings, his history of their title and their triumph in Pep’s own words.
Milan are Italian champions for the first time in 11 years, finally abandoning their “Istanbul syndrome”, reports Nicky Bandini.
How about Barcelona hitting Lyon, writes Suzy Wrack.
Barney Ronay sees a lack of Spursiness at Norwich.
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